Blog

General Mistakes in Conversation

Are you guilty of any of the following?

• You do not organize your thoughts before you speak.
• You include too many (irrelevant) ideas in your messages.
• Your statements do not contain enough information or repetition to be understandable.
• You ignore the amount of information the receiver already has about the subject.
• Your message is not appropriate to the frame of reference of the receiver.
• You don’t give your undivided attention to the sender.
• You start thinking of a possible answer instead of listening to the entire message.
• You listen for detail instead of the full message.
• You evaluate whether the sender is right or wrong before you understand the full message correctly.
• You ignore or reject the feelings and messages of others.
• You only give advice or false compliments.
• You change or sidestep the subject easily.
• You use general and unclear terms.
• You are sarcastic.
• You give commands, e.g. “Shut up”.
• You threaten, e.g. “If you don’t, I will…..”
• You ask forgiveness for being human.
• You make assumptions rather than ensuring that you have all the facts.
• You keep quiet about things that bother you.
• You act in rage, attack, condemn or humiliate: “This is the dumbest idea I have ever heard.”
• You speak on behalf of others.
• You are not specific.
• You interrupt others.
• You complete sentences for them.
• You blame.
• You accuse.
• You use emotional blocks: words which lead to negative feelings and inhibit your listening e.g. “You never listen……”